StART LISTENING INSTEAD OF TALKING
Communication is a the key importance that I couldn't stress more on. It doesn't take much time to ruin a relationship, even a relationships that you're trying to build a connection with. All relationships are successful or unsuccessful depending on how well we communicate. There is a right way to say the same thing--- and yes it does make a difference to those we care about.
These are my insights I've learned as I decided to discover who and how I wanted to be as a person in life. I want to share my own personal experience and view at looking it from the other side. Every topic is an insight into my life and how I had these issues but learned to, as my therapist says, "reprogram me." I hope this helps others in the same situation or others to give another side of looking at things.
Piling it on
I have had people that seem to like to "pile on and on" with their mouths even after it was said once. They just keep piling on criticism on somebody (me) who is already down and out, just to push them deeper into misery.
There are times some things should be said and other times to keep silent. Have the good sense to know what to say, when to say it, and when to be silent.
The way you treat others
Let's think about what effect your attitude has on people whose lives you touch. I have been told things that have impacted my life so much that I have changed the way I think and have learned from experience the way you see somebody is the way you treat them and the way you treat them is often who you become.
Don't put people down
Try to have the sense to know what to say, when to say it, and to be silent. (I've improved a lot on this.). From experience, comments that are mean and cutting down do so irreparable damage to people. People get hurt when attacked in front of groups, because what is unlikely groups such as the jocks, A students, and so on we don't realize is they are human with just as many problems which bother them deeply. We're all people with problems no matter who we are, what friends or groups we hang out with. Don't let friend's keep you from friends. We may look different on the outside, but inside we're all basically the same for the most part.
As I have learned, learn to be honest with saying how or why you feel a certain way. I've had so many friends lie or make stupid excuses because they, I guess, can't communicate it without feeling like it would bother me but hearing it insults my intelligence. I've had the worst possible thing anyone could hear piled with the top 100 list of things that nothing would ever offend me expect not being honest but in a way you say it that makes you feel like it's not a put-down. A funny thing that happens to me and I bet a high percentage of people too when success happens when you are feeling like a failure and when your friends become successful, we tend to not be happy or share the joy of their success. If we can understand what makes us do that, we can understand the major reasons we put people down. When we see people succeed, it makes us feel insecure. Instead of learning from them and trying to follow their example, we become jealous, try to avoid them, and start hoping they stumble. This is what my life was before I hot away from my family and friends that seemed to help make me fail whenever I was succeeding in.
I and some of you, feel like it wasn't a big huge moment of life when we are always told about the wrong ways we made our life with so many voices telling us they are right I don't deserve this but trust me if you can, at least, be happy with who you are and stand up to be proud of it and enjoy life to every moment is special and not to be wasted you are a HUGE successful person. I'm the same way, be happy for your friends that do make a successful life don't ever let resentment or trying to tear down their happiness with our own feelings of "why not me, I don't understand" put those thoughts on your mind because they just might spill out one day and what have you done? Don't let these minor insecurities and jealousy take over the great person you truly are.
Don't be too small or too petty to acknowledge and share in the success of another. Don't start saying bad things or looking for faults in a successful person., Don't think by putting Choose your words wisely, or suffer the consequences. There is a right or better way and a wrong way to say the same thing when we try to say things that might not be the best way to communicate to some people who think and interpret words differently. I used to always get defensive no matter what was said because I always felt it was pointing out my flaws with so many more feelings until now I welcome what people say when it is suggestions that I should think about or what I'm always doing "talking too fast and when I hear a pause in the ending of what I think is the end of what they are saying but I'm always interrupting which makes some friends very mad. Even when I explain my learning to try to do this and that but some people aren't at my level at least I believe.
It only comes back to you on the long run. I bet you don't like to go without recognition when you've done something good. Nobody does! Everyone likes to be appreciated. I was never told or recognized for anything that I did right or good and even overcoming the obstacles I faced With no help but my own strength I had.
To wrap it all up here's my last final thoughts. The three hardest words to say. What is the most difficult three-word phrase we ever have to say to another person? It isn't "I love you. " Believe it or not, some people even have problems with that. When you hear something from one person who ten passes it on to another which in turn rumors start your way.
Share your thoughts!
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